The UFC is headed back to Paris, which means those of us on the East Coast get one of life’s rare luxuries: a full UFC card during the day. No fighting to stay awake through a miserable heavyweight prelim at midnight. No main event walkouts at 1:00 in the morning. We can watch people beat the shit out of each other, finish the card at a reasonable hour, and still have the rest of Saturday night to make poor decisions of our own.
This year’s Paris card is headlined by former KSW double champion Salahdine Parnasse making his long-awaited UFC debut against Dan Hooker. Parnasse finally gets his opportunity in the big show, but the UFC isn’t exactly rolling out the Eiffel Tower-shaped red carpet for him. Hooker may be declining, but he remains experienced, durable, and completely willing to turn any fight into an ugly mess.
The rest of the card features Michael Page providing everyone with a scheduled bathroom break, several heavily hyped prospects trying to justify the attention, and enough questionable fight IQ to remind us that being able to fight doesn’t necessarily mean you can think.
Pour yourself a morning drink, get yourself a croissant, cancel any unnecessary afternoon plans, and let’s go to Paris.
UFC Paris: Hooker vs. Parnasse
Dan Hooker vs. Salahdine Parnasse
Would anybody be surprised to see Parnasse lay an egg after finally getting his call to the big show? No. We’ve seen bigger and better fighters fail in their UFC debuts, and Dan Hooker is just the man, or woman, to test Parnasse. This isn’t MVP Promotions anymore.
That said, Parnasse is extremely impressive on tape. He’s clean, fast, and dangerous, but if Dan Hooker can make this fight ugly, he may have some problems. Off pure talent alone, I think Parnasse is the better fighter, and I think we’re seeing a pretty rapid decline from Hooker. Now you add in his outside life and how he likes dudes, but only sometimes, and I just don’t want to go anywhere near Dan Hooker right now, literally or figuratively.
I’m pretty confident we see a finish within the first three rounds. While I think it’s Parnasse getting his hand raised, -600 is simply too much.
Prediction: Fight Doesn’t Go the Distance/Under 3.5 or 4.5 Rounds
Fares Ziam vs. Axel Sola
This fight is going to the final horn. Ziam was despicable in his last fight against Tom Nolan. He allowed himself to get wrestle-fucked, and as a Frenchman, I’m sure he liked it. You know who didn’t like it? Everyone who backed him and believed he was a legitimate contender in the lightweight division.
Axel Sola wheels back quickly after we just saw him finish the incompetent Bonfim brother, with elbows to the side of the head doing the brunt of the damage. I just don’t see a finish here. Axel can eat shots, as we saw against Mason Jones, and Ziam is just boring.
If you forced me to pick a side, I guess it’s Sola. But this isn’t a good fight.
Prediction: Fight Goes the Distance
Lean: Axel Sola by Decision
Michael Page vs. Nursulton Ruziboev
Oh, Michael Page. We know one thing whenever we see Michael Page on a card: we’re going to have 15 minutes to use the bathroom, grab a snack from the kitchen, or take the dog out to shit.
He’s boring. He’s been boring. He somehow got a Sam Patterson fight to be boring and go to decision. Also, what’s this? Michael Page already has a RAF match booked for next month? Oh boy.
I want nothing to do with Michael Page. This is an easy over, but I also think Ruziboev is the side. He’s the far superior wrestler and grappler, and his striking has improved. He tries to find finishes when he gets fights to the mat, but Page should be slick enough to survive. Ruziboev also has a significant age advantage in this one.
It’s Ruziboev by decision for me.
Prediction: Nursulton Ruziboev by Decision
Daniil Donchenko vs. Punahele Soriano
This fight is a lot more complicated than meets the eye. It seems like everyone sees Donchenko’s name and immediately jumps all over him. I’m not saying they’re wrong, but I can’t get Alex Morono taking Donchenko to a decision out of my mind.
I also have major concerns about Donchenko’s gas tank. Both guys have had cardio issues at times, which could lead to five to seven minutes of fireworks followed by two gas bags trying to see who can spend more time leaning and lying on the other guy.
I think Soriano’s offensive wrestling will be the difference. If he survives the first five minutes, I think it’s all Soriano from there. This is probably a good live-betting spot.
Prediction: Punahele Soriano
Kurtis Campbell vs. Trevor Peek
I forgot Trevor Peek existed. Peek sucks, and he’s coming back after two years because of an injury, not because he spent that time working on his takedown defense.
Campbell really isn’t as bad as his first result against Danny Silva looked. He won the first round of that fight and then simply got beaten up in the second. It was the first loss of his career, and I think Campbell could be better because of it.
Peek is just awful. I can’t tell you one thing he does even remotely well, and unless he spent the last two years in Dagestan, I will not forget how awful he is.
It’s Kurtis Campbell, and it’s Kurtis Campbell by submission.
Prediction: Kurtis Campbell by Submission
Morgan Charriere vs. Felipe Lima
There are a lot of dumb motherfuckers in the UFC by fight IQ standards, but Morgan Charriere may just take the cake. For a guy who possesses all the physical tools and talent that Morgan has, it’s a shame he can’t be trusted because of how poor his decision-making is.
Add in the potential deterioration of his durability following that knockout loss to Melquizael Costa, and I just can’t back him.
Felipe Lima is a good fighter. He may not have one-punch knockout power, but he’s crafty with his striking and can grapple. He’s good at mixing things up, and the bottom line is that Morgan Charriere just isn’t Payton Talbott.
I think it’s all Lima in this one. Whether it comes by dominant decision or a finish, I think he wins convincingly.
Prediction: Felipe Lima
Losene Keita vs. Muhammad Naimov
Greg Oden. Ryan Leaf. Sam Bowie. Losene Keita.
Maybe it’s not exactly to that extent, but Keita entered the UFC with a ton of buzz. He was supposed to be the next big thing. He had Patricio Pitbull booked for his UFC debut and appeared to be on his way until he stepped on the scale.
Pitbull effectively told him to piss off, and despite all the crocodile tears and whining, the fight was called off. Keita then got his debut rebooked against Nathaniel Wood and lost.
Naimov, meanwhile, is a notorious cheater. Some fighters are great at mixing up their combinations. Naimov is great at mixing up the fouls he commits.
This fight sucks. Keita should have the more explosive moments if he ever decides to pull the trigger, while Naimov is always live to lose a point or two because of his antics. For that reason, I guess I have to hold my nose and go with Keita.
Prediction: Losene Keita
Mario Pinto vs. Ryan Spann
I think this fight is a Mario Pinto nuking. He’s just as massive, more dangerous, and owns a huge cardio advantage.
While Pinto’s last fight against Felipe Franco was far from impressive, I think that Octagon time will prove much more beneficial to Pinto in the long run.
Spann trains out of his garage. He shows up fat, but he’s always dangerous. I just think we have two fighters moving in drastically different career trajectories.
Prediction: Mario Pinto by KO
Oumar Sy vs. Modestas Bukauskas
These guys are both terrible in their own ways. I’m completely out on Oumar Sy, and I was never in on Bukauskas.
I think we see a snoozer. Both guys can be extremely low-volume, and while Sy may be the more talented fighter, he simply cannot be trusted.
Prediction: Over/Fight Goes the Distance
Nathaniel Wood vs. Pavel Andrusca
It’s a Nathaniel Wood fight.
Pavel Andrusca comes in on short notice. He’s light on experience and enters from UAE Warriors, which isn’t exactly the best feeder promotion.
Nathaniel Wood has shown us time and time again that he may not be the most exciting fighter. He isn’t going to give you a flash knockout or some nasty submission game, but he knows how to win fights. When he steps into the Octagon, you can expect 15 minutes of war.
This fight may be scary for Wood during the first five minutes, but I expect him to do what Nathaniel Wood does: bite down on his mouthpiece and win more minutes than his opponent.
Prediction: Nathaniel Wood by Decision
Matthieu Duclos vs. Luis Felipe Dias
Duclos has fought nobody. His striking defense sucks, and Dias throws wild bombs.
Duclos may be the more “technical” striker and has a decent kicking game, but this is an enormous step up in competition for him. Luis Felipe Dias is no world-beater, but he earned his contract with a finish on Dana White’s Contender Series and scored a knockout victory in his UFC debut.
I don’t like this fight. It’s dog or pass.
Prediction: Luis Felipe Dias
Nora Cornolle vs. Klaudia Sygula
I like this fight, believe it or not.
Nora Cornolle is old and finished. Her cardio stinks, she doesn’t wear damage well, and she has quit in her. Despite all of that, she’s the favorite.
Klaudia Sygula can strike. She may not have the most power in the world, but she brings volume and wears damage well. I also like that Sygula spent this camp training with Michelle Montague.
I think this fight is all Klaudia, and I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of a finish.
Prediction: Klaudia Sygula
Michael Aljarouj vs. Fabia Sintes
It’s dog or pass in this one.
Michael Aljarouj appears to have legitimate striking. He has knockout power and throws with volume, but he has no answers if the fight leaves the feet. Sintes can absolutely make that happen here.
Sintes is a good grappler and wrestler, and stylistically, I favor him in this matchup. I don’t love it. Hell, I don’t even really like it. But it’s Sintes or pass.
Prediction: Fabia Sintes
Delphine Benouaich vs. Sofia Montenegro
This fight is going to decision.
Sofia Montenegro is a human punching bag. While she does return fire, she doesn’t do it with much volume.
Delphine Benouaich, another fighter making her UFC debut after losing on The Ultimate Fighter, is a pure striker. She has good cardio, but she isn’t particularly dangerous. She produces more volume than Montenegro, but once again, there just isn’t much danger coming back with it.
The biggest problem with Delphine is her takedown defense. It sucks. If Montenegro takes her down, the fight will likely remain there for the rest of the round.
Both of these women have major holes in their games, but I’m pretty confident we will not see a finish.
Prediction: Fight Goes the Distance
UFC Paris gives us a card filled with promotional newcomers, questionable favorites, short-notice replacements, and several fighters who cannot be trusted under any circumstances. In other words, it’s exactly the kind of card we’ll pretend to understand before watching everything fall apart by the third fight.
The main event should tell us whether Salahdine Parnasse is truly ready for the UFC or whether Dan Hooker has enough violence left in him to ruin another prospect’s big moment. We also have live underdogs in Soriano, Sygula, and Sintes, a likely Mario Pinto nuking, and a Michael Page fight conveniently scheduled for whenever nature calls.
Best of all, the violence begins at noon on the East Coast and should end before Saturday night. We get an entire UFC card without sacrificing our sleep schedule, which means there will be plenty of time afterward to celebrate the winners, complain about the judges, and pretend we never liked the bets that lost.
Let’s enjoy the rare daytime violence and hope Paris treats our bankroll better than it usually treats American tourists.
